It would appear that male pattern
 baldness has set in
 his hair, at an alarming pace
 running away from his face
 he's losing his virility
 and now his masculinity
 has been compromised
 and his libido down-sized

 Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
 not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
 it's not for me you understand

 Bald, slap headed and hairless
 bald he is destined to be
 bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

Tror inte att det är nåt annat band än The Darkness som skulle skriva en låt om att tappa hår :P